Overcoming

What can I say about 2013?? Major changes have taken place in my life, some for the best and some I'm still uncertain of. Life has done a number on me for sure, for the better overall and of course there are days like today where I question a lot of things. Sometimes on the walk with God it appears that the grass was greener in the past or when you were in a certain phase. As a young, single woman I've found it frustrating to watch or see people succeed or appear to succeed at things when they're going about life all wrong... I've found it frustrating when those that go through life treating others unfairly or scheming their way along seem to have everything. For the most part I've always been a good person, haven't done everything right and had my share of trials and errors but I have always been the girl people can count on. I've always been the one to hold up friendships... To reach out, to listen but I've noticed that I don't have a lot of people to talk to or vent to. I understand the grass is never really greener on the other side and that everyone has their fair share of issues and life's troubles. I trust God. I trust him and I know that life gets better. I know that if I continue to water the grass he's given me it'll become greener even if I have to water it with tears. 2013 I stepped out on faith and I'm holding on to his hand. I pray that the battles of 2013 help me in 2014. I pray that one day I'll be humbled by these experiences and remember how far he brought me. He's gonna do it, I just have to hold on. I hope that your holiday is beyond blessed and that he continues to keep you in the new year. This is the last post in God's Girl and I appreciate everyone that reads and encourages me to write. Keep following me, there will be a new blog in January.
Until we meet again,
CDJ❤️

Awake

I had an exhausting, stressful week... Finals and work consumed my time. Before I went to sleep I said my prayers but felt regret for the lack of time spent with God. I was exhausted and had a migraine so shut the computer down, pulled back covers and drifted off. Well I woke up around 3:45 a.m (fell asleep at midnight mind you) and couldn't fall back asleep, after an hour of frustration I began to weep thinking of the tasks that are ahead of me this weekend and even started feeling anxiety about next week. I started thinking I'll never get any sleep at this rate then God said get on your knees and pray. I obeyed, I cried out to him and things I had no intention of even saying spilled out! I've been so unhappy these past couple weeks, so detached from everyone and just flat out exhausted. I haven't been spending enough private time with God, haven't had many date nights with him or early morning sessions like this one I'm having now. I now feel peace even though life is hectic and there's so much to be done. I have to make time for him because he comes first and without him I will surely fail! Next week is not here yet so I shoudn't worry... Today has just started and I will be alright. Laying here not wanting to leave his presence and I don't have to. I can take a nap later, right now I just wanna give my cares to him, turn off alarms and my phone. Right now I just want to "be" alone with God uninterrupted. Such peace he's giving me right now. Until we meet again, be blessed! 

CDJ❤️

Philippians 4:6 KJV

[6] Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

Goals

Around this time of year I usually write my goals out for the next year, I'm not big on New Years Resolutions... This time last year my goals for the new year were to be employed and out of Fort Wayne lol. Year before my goals were to see the ocean and get on a plane (simple but it happened)! My goals for next year are a little different because next years goals have to do with this 3 to 4 year plan I have. I'm currently in school for health care administration and I have a year and half left... I don't regret this because it is a stable field and I'll always have this degree in the future to fall back on. 2015 I plan on entering an esthetics program and doing what I planned on doing 3 years ago but plans got altered. That should take me 7 to 8 months which gives me time to focus on my plan, you ready??? 2016 I plan on opening my spa/ makeup studio, all of this while I'm still writing my music ( STAY WITH ME PLEASE) I do plan on finishing what I am currently doing which is working on my current degree because. I NEVER start and not finish, even if I hate it (nail tech) I ALWAYS complete the task at hand. So my main goal for 2014 is to save money to go towards my esthetician (classes) and my studio. If you don't believe me PEACE... If you do continue to pray for me. I have plans and I PLAN to execute them. I came this far by faith and soon it'll be time to do what's best for me and my future. I have to follow my dreams and the talents and gifts God gave me WILL NOT be wasted. So I'm currently thinking of names and what will I call this makeup studio. God gave me a vision of what is to come but of course I won't share everything and neither will he ;) he has a plan so I'm trusting and rolling with it!! Pray for me, be blessed and until we meet again keep God first✌️

CDJ❤️

Contentment

I wanna be a songwriter/ makeup artist... I wanna own my own makeup studio. I want to do what I love. When I was younger I dreamed of Broadway, I dreamed of performing but life happened and I became withdrawn, insecure and fear held me back. At 26 I work a typical 8 to 5 job which I'm grateful for and learning to be content while in this season. I spent years unemployed off and on while I battled depression, anxiety and had so many regrets watching my peers succeed at their chosen careers. I chose the medical field because it is stable and consistent... I'm very expressive, very emotional and not average so everyday is a fight because I'm bored LOL. Today I sat at my desk while listening to a song called God Is It True (Trust Me) by Steven Curtis Chapman and I began thinking God I trust you. I stepped out on faith by moving here and you've shown me nothing but favor and mercy. I said God give me faith to pursue what's really in my heart. I had a little chat with God and I realized that I've been doing things my way, saying I trust him yet always intervening or going off of my own decisions. I don't wanna do anything but what he has planned for me, taking my hands off. He didn't give me the ability to sing, to write or read music for me to work an "average" job forever, he didn't give me a passion for makeup and the art of it for me to just say I know how to do it. He gives us gifts to be used... For his glory and for a reason. I'm grateful for my job and the financial stability it's giving me but I know that this season is temporary and that he's simply teaching me patience with people and contentment. His timing is everything. I don't wanna be Barbie anymore lol ( I've went to school for different things, I always finish but none of it has to do with my calling) my emotions change like the wind so I don't want to be led by them anymore. I trust that God's plan for my life will be fulfilled, pray for me friends!! Until we meet again be blessed!!

CDJ❤️

Dreams

Too many times fear holds us back... Along with the opinions of others. Fear has held me back from so much in life! 1 John 4:18 says: 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 
I've always been a singer, I've been a writer since I was 7 when my dad bought me my first diary... Some would say time has been wasted because I'm 26 and have done nothing with either skill... I am still passionate about both and I want so badly to share with everyone so I've been talking to God and asked him where to start because I'm once again frustrated and getting "antsy" with life because I'm not doing what I LOVE! I'm not doing what I'm passionate about and that led to depression in the past so I will never succumb to that again. He's teaching me to stay still and focus on him until he leads me to the next step. I'm currently writing my first few songs and creating a compilation called: Soprano Life and I don't have any idea how I can pull it off but God can lol! So I'm being obedient, I shall write and let him work out the details. I need prayer... My job is nice but from the time I started God kept saying this is temporary and at first I'm like ok God I need this money LOL sooo temporary does not work for me right now! He said just work and I'll handle the rest and it left me confused... He's teaching me to rely on him soley, my trust or faith is not in my job and it could end at anytime. I'm not afraid though because he has brought me this far and he keeps on opening doors, I know that right now I am where I am for a purpose and as soon as I got comfortable things began to change really fast. God probably laughs at our "simple" human plans like haaa no, no honey I'm about to flip this... So many requests I made long ago and it's all a matter of time. People make suggestions about this and that and I listen... But I guard my heart which is sensitive to hearing his voice! Everyone can't speak into yur life, no matter how much you LOVE them! God has my heart, he has my dreams so pray for me as he continues to deal with me on whatever this journey he's taking me on. We can't tell God what to do but we can make requests before him and some of mine went like this lol: God I want to be married between 27 and 30, God I want to be out of this city (Fort Wayne) by 25 (I am 26) God I want to SING and write not only for me but others. Now he doesn't have to DO or give me any of that and I'll just have to deal but he knows what's best! So you pray for me and I'll do the same!

Until WE meet again be blessed!
CDJ❤️

God's Plan

My life has changed so much over the course of three months... A new city, a new job and a new home. This season reminds me of the season my mentor and sister in Christ (Heather Lindsey) talks about and at first I was down about it because it was rough. Life in general has it's good moments and it's tough moments, I won't say bad moments because for me those are the moments you learn the most. I've just been focusing on God, his word and whatever his plan may be for me I want to be prepared. Worry and stress are two familiar emotions I'm used to falling back on so I'm learning to pray, trust God and stay focused on him. I don't know his plan for my life, I don't know what he has planned next but I know he won't steer me wrong so I'll follow him. Many times I've found myself asking God what's next... Thing is he knows but it just isn't time for me to know. We live in such an impatient world, God wants us to sit before him and get quiet! He just wants us to trust him, so I'll trust him. Will you trust him sis?
Until we meet again be blessed ❤️
Cdj❤️

The Pink Room Pt 2

A few months ago I stepped out on faith and moved to a new city. If you read the post I put up back in June titled The Pink Room you will remember my attachment to the room and the story behind it. I came home this weekend and last night as I laid in "the pink room" memories flooded my mind. I thought of good times, laughter, sleepovers and random craziness. I also thought of rough times, tears, depression and fear... as I thought of these things I got misty eyed. I thought of when my sisters and I made the decision to move and how we spent many nights on our faces in this room crying out to God about what was to come. I also thought of the troubled 19 year old girl who spent sleepless nights and troubled days in the dark begging God to help her. I thought of the lost 21 year old who wanted so badly to be real in her walk with Christ but kept failing. I thought of the seasons without an income and the job searching. Moments where I was afraid to ask for things I needed for fear of looking needy or helpless. With all these thoughts I started thanking God for my grandparents, how they took me in and gave me a home. I started to wonder where I would be now if I had never had those years and moments in "the pink room." I think that because I lived in my grandparents house people assumed I walked on rainbows or clouds, that I was spoiled or that life was without pain or stress. Lol there are certain perks I miss! They have nothing to do with anything material wise though. I miss trips to the store, the bank and various places with my grandfather. I miss watching tv and laughing with my grandma... I miss late night laughter, conversations and talks. Packing my bag and this evening I have to exit "the pink room" for awhile until my next visit. I have a new pink room and it is alright but it will never take the place of the one on Monogene Drive. Until we meet again be blessed and keep Jesus first <3

CDJ <3